Gunwanti………. Tujhe Salaam
For an event on Colors channel, “ Maa(n) Tujhe Salaam” telecasted on the occasion of mother’s day, I was asked to write a poem for Basant, a character in Balikavadhu. I wrote what I could:
Sharing with you…
दुनिया देखी पहली बार तेरी नज़र से .... माँ
तेरा आँचल छत .. तेरी गोद ज़मीन थी ..माँ ..
तेरी लोरी ही दिन को करती थी रात हमेशा.
तेरी मुस्कान से ही हर रोज़ सुबह होती थी माँ .
……..
मैं ही नहीं दुनिया में,
सब के होठों पर ..
सबसे पहले आता है एक लब्ज़ ... माँ ..
When I was writing a promo for the same show with the OAP team of the channel, one of us, Mushfiq read out a poem of Nida Fazali.
Maa.N
Besan kii sondhii rotii par
khattii chatanii jaisii maan
yaad aatii hai chaukaa-baasan
chimataa phukanii jaisii maan
……
…..
Bivii, betii, bahan, padosan
thodii thodii sii sab mein
din bhar ek rassii ke oopar
chalatii natanii jaisii maa.N
Baant ke apanaa cheharaa, maathaa,
aankhein jaane kahaan gayee
phate puuraane ik alabam mein
chanchal ladakii jaisii maan.
All of us loved it.. and decided not to use it for a promo. It was genuinely written. And we felt we should not use it for any commercial purpose.
…
My mother liked my poem. But I did not like it at all.
I was told Production house liked it. I did not.
It was used later in the promo also in Mushfiq’s voice. I quite liked his voice and promo. But I did not like my poem.
I felt it was not an honest writing. It was just idolizing the standard image of mother.
A real mother is more like a Gunwanti who can ruin the lives of children just to maintain a social mask of “happy family.” These mothers are constantly sweeping the problems under the carpet. They are ignorant. They are not living in the present. They have their roots in tradition, culture and past. They are the mothers people love to watch on TV. But I think their roots are their limitations. They have stopped to grow long back.
A real mother is too real to be idolized.
Like Gunwanti.
I am sure if Veer speaks out his heart he will curse her. (But he cannot do it, since its TV.)
When her son suffers from addiction, she ignores. She truly loves him.
When he commits suicide, she blames it on the daughter in law. She truly loves him.
Gunwanti is a real Indian mother, who is ready to do anything for her children.
But whatever she does, she invariably harms her children.
People dislike Tapasya as a character and still watch her. At least they know her.
What they think of Gunwanti as a character I don’t know. But as a writer I see her as “Gandhari”, one who has willingly stopped seeing the world of her children.
Let’s look at her more closely.
When Vansh was borne what was she busy with? Tej singh? Keeping Dadda ji happy? I am sure she must have neglected her husband, because it was Daddaji’s haveli. And her survival instinct and upbringing might have told her… “Keep him happy.” “Keep Sasur ji happy.” She kept him happy. She dealt with Tej singh because he was Dadda ji’s problem.
She loved her children like any mother does. But she hardly understood them or their world.
When Vansh became addict… she used carpet.
When Vansh fell in love, she could see the problem… but she liked carpet.
She got him married. Veer kept on telling her .. “tell the truth to Bhaiya.” But she loved carpet.
She swept everything under the carpet
….
Now he is dead. And she wants to sweep the reason under carpet. She does not even try to know. She blames Ichchha, “You don’t want your conscious to be burdened by Vansh’s death, so you are accusing Veer.”
The truth is she does not want to face her conscience and so she puts the blame on Ichchha and hides behind the garb of “bête ki maut ka gham.”
It’s a very real character…. It’s what many mothers do to their children. For them, parampara is the key word. They have stopped living long back.
If Vansh’s soul is still there…in Bundela Haveli…… Then it must be saying:
Maai
Tu mujhe samajh na paayi.
Main is ghar mein bhatak raha hoon.
Apni Ichchha ko dhundh raha hoon.
Main tujhse kah raha hoon maai…
Tu mujhe kabhi samajh nahin paayi.
Jab thappad marna tha
Tune kaleje se lagaya.
Jab kaleje se lagane ka waqt aaya.
Tune band kamre mein mujhe chhipaya.
Jab zaroorat thi sahare ki…
Tab tujh mein himmat nahin thi maai.
Jis mein himmat thi..
Tu use samajh nahin paayi.
Maai tu mujhe samajh nahin paayi.
Tu lalla ko bhi samajh nahin paayi.
…
Maai… Tujhe salam!!
So true, Anil. There are ample Gunwantis in real life too. Women who mould their child's life for the worst and then try and disown all blame by passing it on to others.
ReplyDeleteThe image of a mother is so revered, so iconic, that we refuse to question it. Can a mother be free of blame, of accountability? I don't know.
Because if there are mothers like Gunwanti, there are also mothers who steer their child's life into the right direction, by being a pillar of strength themselves. The song you wrote was for that mother. I like it.
You are right. Mothers sometimes take wrong decisions for their children. And its better that they own up their mistakes. But I still loved your poem because even if her decisions are wrong, her love remains an inseparable part of every human being.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Pratisha too "there are also mothers who steer their child's life into the right direction, by being a pillar of strength themselves".
This reminds me of the mother in Prem Rog. Towards the end of the movie seeing the plight of her daughter the mother shuns her usual silent personality and speaks up in front of the men in the family criticizing their actions (something she never thought of doing). I like such portrayals where situations open up new avenues of human mind.
ah, the indian mother. too too idealistic( if sweeping problems under the carpet is idealism). I am optimistic about the new generation mothers. i am sure they will not be like gunwanti. But.... will they also compromise to a large extent on the family value system that we would want the gunwanti prototype back? Dont know. I am confused and disturbed. The whole problem with all of us that we love to play roles... mother, sister, spouse. And the elements of the role take over our inherent traits which determine our individuality.
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